Black Guy in America

If you have to ask yourself this question every time you wake up.. then you probably dont…

But it’s okay because Having game isn’t always a good thing

Yeah that’s right having game has it’s downsides..

For example

You have to deal with Angry Main Chicks

In the near future.. you may be Paying for multiple children that you didnt know you had..

You’ll always find yourself wanting more and more but never getting enough

so if you have ‘Game’

Grow up… and get Responsibility

Take care of that Woman…

I mean what’s the point of going through all those bullshit relationships anyway?

Are you one of those YOLO people still?

Black Guy Out! with a  political Gif

and a Meme

If you dont know what emojis are.. They are basically smileys that only people with Apple products can see…

I mean everyone who used Instant messaging remembers when

a simple Semi Colon and a Parentheses could make a smiley

:) 

but it got more and more complex

:D :* :P  (^_^)

then those little keyboard codes turned into pics

Then those things became

Emojis

But here’s the things

None of these are black

I mean they even have a dude with a turban!

and a princess

But none of them are Black…

Now look… I know what some of y’all are thinking…

“Why do you want Ghetto Emojis?” 

NO!

I dont want Emojis that are Sterotypical

They dont need outrageous chainz

They dont need to have a lit blunt in their mouth

They dont have to have Dreadlocks OR be a Rapper

OR have Gold teeth

They just have to be normal ASS Emojis…but with Black Skin

lol

IDK lol

Black Guy out!

After a long and successful run on twitter you have finally accumulated your preffered amount of followers… your first milestone

500 followers!

You’re a fucking cult leader now

lol

but None of these people will do exactly as you say..

and there is a good chance your twitcon doesnt look like that lol

so anyway you’re gassed up outta your mind

 lol i like this cartoon…

So you think you’re invincible!

But then the unthinkable happens

you get on twitter and realize you’ve lost over 20 followers!

ouch and all you can think about is how you always follow back!

lol They all Quitted on your self-proclaimed cult

now that you have been unfollowed here is what not to do!

1. Do not tweet over and over again how you Dont give a fuck if people unfollow you or not…

You will probably be unfollowed

2. Do Contact people who unfollowed you in Real life……

They will unfollow you

3. Do not go on a twitter rampage of tweets about how you hate when people unfollow you.. twitter is NOT facebook

 ”Even my wife unfollowed me”

You will be unfollowed

4. Do not Pay people to follow you…

5. Do not spam people’s Timeline’s with Follow Trains and Follow me and you’ll get 500+ followers Bullshit

You will be unfollowed

Hopefully these tips helped you not get unfollowed

Black Guy out! with some interesting pics

I’ve never dated outside of my race so i have no 1st hand experience with interracial dating… So i’ll talk about friendships lol

Look at this guy

He loves life… and likes his friends a lot…

But he can’t escape the awkward situations and moments

He is a TOKEN BLACK GUY!

If you know what I mean male or female then you know about the  crazy shit you have to deal with in friendships like this

1. A new Rap song comes on that you don’t really like… and all of your friends go crazy about how they love the song.. “THAT’S MY SONG!” and they all look at you like… Right?? it’s a cool song right Dequan?? and you’re like nah…

2. When your friend tries to defend you but it ends up being a fail… “So what if Dequan can’t Ice Skate!?? he’s Black duh! and everyone know’s their people can’t skate well”

3. When they make jokes about your blackness ..”Hey Dequan… want some fried Chicken?? and watermelon??! HAHAHA!”  and you put on that fake smile that says “this is hilarious -_____-“

 ”hehe it says bling bling… wait i’ve never said that…”

4. When they do something horribly racist and feel like it’s okay because you’re not freaking out… I mean you are their black firend

5. When  they dont invite you out somewhere because they think you wont fit in…

 yeah.. he doesnt fit in… #TeaPartyLife

here are some quick things to solve these issues

in order

1. As soon as that rap song come on. Talk about how you don’t really like that song and get them to change it…

2. Defend yourself! lol one of your friends can end up making you look retarded…

3. Make sure you do not smile… eventually they’ll stop… if not give them a taste of their own medicine

 lmao

4. If you dont want your white friends to say Nigga… look at them like you’re pissed but the only reason you are not hurting them is because it was the first offense lol

5. Don’t go… when they say “You won’t fit in” that’s code for “My family hates black people.. sorry” 

Black guy out! with some interesting pics

Is just a bad idea…

Put down the self-help books and look at yourself…

Do you really have a passion for this thing you are pursuing? or are you doing it… just to be recognized?

I was having one of those deep conversations about religion with this Christian dude I know… and we ended up talking about Pride… and one aspect of it which has to do with being recognized by the masses

In simpler terms…

A Rich and powerful guy is approached by a poor person… and that rich and powerful guy is like “Well $%&@ you and your requests.I have ALL i need here; i have money power, Hell I eat more than your whole family eats.. Who are you to tell me anything?”

Sound familiar?

I mean the Pharaoh was just… the Pharaoh

Everyone knew who he was… he was the great God on Earth

But at the end of the day he was empty inside and lost a lot of his prized possessions… Just to be recognized.

So how does this apply to the average Dequan?

Well Dequan I have some great news!

You dont have to go to jail for respect!

Instead you can build up your community and earn the respect and love of those around you.

That’s right little Jessica…

You dont have to be 16 and pregnant and be on TV just to be recognized 

DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE DOING!

Go save the world or some stuff..

dont worry about being recognized…

There is a good chance you’ll just be Trolled and degraded anyway

They made a song off of this guy

NO captions needed lol

Black Guy Out! with some interesting pics

“A snitch N that’s that stuff i dont like!”

My friend asked me. “Well what should I do about it? My dates always get awkward really fast.”

That’s where the problem lies….

What if you really liked someone but whenever you talked to them it was awkward

You always started the conversation but after a few sentences  it always gets REALLY quiet

Here’s what to do.

1. Never start with questions that can be answered with Yes, No, Nothing, or Chillin

Most people I know hate being asked these question and will immediately answer  the simplest answer possible… If you say What’s up? they will most likely say Nothing Much… Especially if they dont confide in you whatsoever.  They could be dealing with A WHOLE lot and they may think you really dont care.

 lol

Anyway 

2. You have to get to know the person so you can talk about things that you’re both interested in.  If She loves Sports and you love sports… Dont bull shit and talk about Gardening for the whole time.

“Hey do you ever go out and plant stuff?”

“WTF? no”

“Oh well me neither.”

Awkwardness created

3. If they tell you a funny story… even if it’s not funny… LISTEN!! Then the next thing you say doesnt have to be.. “Yeah that’s crazy”

If you listen then you can tell a story of you’re own that is related to her story..

lol she looks crazy

anyway

4. If they are the type to answer in short sentences ask them something that cannot simply be answered… i.e.  an open ended question

See if they can answer something that you ACTUALLY want to know

and last but not least

5. If they are not Talking… you must speak first

Playing the waiting game is like playing chess with someone and they just got up and left and told you to wait.

  Where’d he go??

No one likes being ditched

so dont ditch the conversation

Black Guy out… with an interesting pic

Let’s keep this one rather short and simple

I came upon two people arguing about politics…

One pointed out that the President of the United States Barack Obama was a Socialist who hates America!

sounds familiar?

That’s right… as soon as Many Americans noticed that he may have a chance to win they Freaked out!! He’s a “socialist!” a “Nazi!” a “Muslim extreme-mist!” He wants to “kill our Babies!”

But wait there’s more…

These same people who “hate” Socialism sooo much…. profess that a socialist is their God and Savior!!??

WHAT!? That’s Blasphemy! how can Jesus.. our savior… Support socialist unAmerican values???

\

Oh YEAH that’s right…

Jesus wanted to feed everyone!!

Jesus Healed the sick…

FOR FREE!!

Jesus is sooo Socialist at the time he existed the people around had no clue what to do with him … Remember when he destroyed that Jewish Temple Market?

Sounds like a violent version of Occupy Wall Street???

Jesus was a Socialist Radical and nobody cares…

Until it fucks with their own money…

lol  The Irony

Jesus would not have supported the troops either…

Jesus would teach that we should love Iran and never bomb it…

Jesus would say that We must love everyone even if they flew two planes into the world trade centers…

anyway the point is that Obama is not NEARLY as Left as any real socialist would want him to be. He’s closer to the middle than most people want him to be.

Black Guy out! no pics needed

But pics wanted

My friend recently had this issue… A person of the opposite sex constantly contacted my friend….

Texting

Calling

Emails…

Shit even Postal type Mail

My friend did not know what to do!!

I told them… “IT IS REAL!!”

You’ve got a stalker!

They were in denial!

^^ Awkward …

anyway 

My friend told me that they ignored their “Stalker”

and my friend’s stalker wasn’t having it

^^ not actual stalker but close enough!

So I tell my friend… You either get a restraining order… OR! you actually talk to them

My friend had never even considered it

Long story short my friend and their stalker are now best buds… FOREVER!

ANYWAY!

Black Guy out..

and when i said forever… I didnt say that was a good thing

Not Valentine’s day..

Not Father’s day

and unless it is.. lol not your Birthday!

But it’s a day for your mom!

  (^_^)

So here’s what not to do.

1.  Ignore Your mom

2. Hang out with your friends instead

3. Buy a gift for yourself and pretend that it was for your mom

4.Get on Tumblr and browse Pics for hours

5. Get Piss Drunk and throw up everywhere…

It’s Mother’s Day! so enjoy it

Black Guy out! with some interesting pics

I walked upon a guy and a girl arguing about what the rules are to footsie…

Yeah that game where you rub on each others feet with your feet… lol

Hence the name footsie…

So here are the rules of footsie…

For those two and anyone else who is bored enough to read this lol

1.  Have Clean Shoes/Socks/Feet

 Unless that’s your things.

2. You Must Know the person you play with…

  Or this will happen

3. There must communication… Gestures, Looks, Grunts, Moans, Words..

  “The… I like your foot Face!”

4. Footsie must be initiated with at least two soft touches between feet.. otherwise the other person will think you are just kicking them…

5. No one can Win Footsie… All you can do is take it to the next level… lol

lol and those are rules of the game of Footsie :D

Hope you have fun

Black Guy out with some interesting pics

I am by no means a fashionista … or whatever you call people who are fashionable and know everything there is to know about Fashion…

But recently I was told that Jean Shorts are out of style…

I guess i shoulda known…

But….

Should I really look like every black “fashionable” man looks like nowadays 

Should I wear Polo’s all of a sudden even though i’ve never even played the sport?

I never Wore Northface or Timberlands

Because I never planned on scaling a mountain and braving harsh winters…..

The question becomes… Why are Jean shorts so out of style?

Is it because their soft blue colors dont match with everything?

… is it because we need to spend loads of money to look good because Expensive clothes make our lives more meaningful?

  “Yeah so much fun! I love little animals on my clothes that would eat me in real life!”

I mean Really… There was a time when Jean Shorts Didn’t exist

and when they did… Black people were just outta slavery

… hmmm

So We’ve freed ourselves from the Outlandish style of Jeans and moved on to a style that has been around for years but were just reserved for white people?

I dont know if i need to throw out all of my jeans just to stay “Trendy”

Did you know that it’s more “Classy” if a Black Person acts white… than if a white person acts black? -___-

 vs 

yeah that’s right black readers… White people think that if you dont act like them… it’s probably because you like doing ignorant stuff..

But Who goes Skiing and Bunjie Jumping? 

Oh yea… because

Black Guy Out!… no interesting pictures this time…

Just Playing lol

The most dangerous question for many men to answer….

You’ve got beyonce…

Then you got a look alike

The problem is that answering this can go bad either way

IF you say yes she might go

 ”I dont look like that bitch!”

and if you say no she might go

 lol

But it gets worse when two girls are asking which one looks more like Beyonce..

So you try and be smart and say “Both of you look like Beyonce!”

yeah no way out of that…

So here’s the best way to deal with it…

Tell them that they both look like Different Beyonces..

One looks like Dream Girls beyonce…

and the other looks like the suvivor beyonce

lol

It doesnt work all the time but at least you’ll be neutral and not on one side or the other

Black guy out! with some interesting pics

It lurks behind the closet door when a child is sleeping

It hides in the alley by the corner store while you are walking

or Creeping

Who are you to fear the Darkness that surrounds you?

Is it not the Darkness that Fears Us?

running away as soon as you flick on the lights

Retreating under Couches and Beds

Behind Doors and under Chairs.

The Darkness is not Fear itself

so why must we be Afraid?

The Boy says

I’m Afraid because the Boogie man is under my bed

My father says there’s no such thing but he lied about what rated R means

My Mommy says to not be Afraid because she’ll protect me

but she lied about if i scream in my dreams she’ll be able to hear me

The Man says

I am not afraid because I am a man

The idea stands firm in his head

but in action it is dead

The lights go out and he searches for a flashlight 

Running to the family making sure they’re alright.

The Girl says

The darkness scares me because i feel alone

The dolls im told to place with I cant see them anymore

My sister says im still pretty even with my denial…

how can i be pretty if the world cant see my smile?

The Woman says

Im not afraid because I have a family to defend

I was just startled that’s all

She clutches the hand of her man

Her man says It’s okay honey as long as you’re with me

She says you’re just as scared as I  just what are you trying to be?

The Family says

We are afraid

Our togetherness makes us strong

The Darkness finally replies

I’ll keep you safe in my arms

No one ever wants me around especially that resounding sound of LIGHT!

It hears my plight but doesnt care

It pounds it’s ideals into my ear

There once was a name we gave this thing

Lucifer… (The Bringer of Light)

Was once my friend 

… now i hide.. until the end.

Black random poetry guy out